In the last days we are warned that men will become lovers of their own selves and that the love for others will wax cold. I have been surprised recently how true this very concept is. We live in a world where people proclaim their deep concern for the world and all humanity, yet do not truly love anyone but themselves. It is like the people of the world are wearing a mask of love, yet behind that false front is only a cold selfish heart beating to their own drumming desiring to look "good" in the eyes of others, not to truly love others, but to gain more adoration for themselves. They are the warm faces and cold hearts of those that pretend to show you love yet only seek to gain love and admiration for themselves to fill the void of their own cold empty hearts.
Whom can anyone trust, when mankind puts on such a pretense and proclaims their love of humanity or an individual yet does nothing that is a true expression of love and sacrifice? It becomes just words with no real action behind them. It is a persona to wear at will when they "desire" to appear "good and loving" but somehow they are misguided into thinking that by this false front they are showing real love. They think that acting like they care is the same as actually caring and sacrificing. They can only give this mimic of love for they hold no true love inside to give. They think they have love because they feel pain inside themselves and feel better when they put on the "face" of love, but it is only a mask. They are not loving with their heart when they think they are showing love, but only wearing this mask that appears at face value an expression of love. They then pat themselves on the back for what a wonderful loving person they are for having said a few nice words or having given a smile or done some act that made them feel they did something. It warms their cold heart just enough to barely raise it to room temperature, yet they think they are radiating true warmth. It might have warmed their heart a few degrees, but all it accomplishes is to put on a show of affection without out any true energy of love being given. They clench their teeth and have to swallow hard, feeling the deep burden of helping another and then thinking that they have shown genuine love, that they have done their good deed for the day and can now feel proud of how good of a person they are for giving to another of their time precious time and attention. They are worn out by this paltry act of service and feel drained by this person to the point of feeling that they have expended their limit for the day and now need some "me" time.
To love is to give without expecting admiration and reward. Love is sacrifice, not deciding how much one will give to another based on their personal boundaries they have set for their "limit" of what they are "willing" do without taking too much away from themselves. It should be doing all that we "can" do and that is not limited by our personal desires, but by our true limits of ability. Love is truly caring for another MORE then oneself, giving to someone completely selflessly in service. It is not a badge of pride to be worn like a blue ribbon "Best Person Award". It is doing things for those in need without anything to gain and primarily to sacrifice of your time and means to the point it even hurts, not stopping when it just a slight inconvenience. Just as bodybuilders say "no pain no gain," this is also true within the realm of service. If there is no pain, there is no gain for either side. The problem is people love themselves so much more now than they do others, that the tiniest weight of another's burden feels like a several ton weight and a huge sacrifice, when it is only a few ounces. Yet, when it comes to others helping them, they expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter. They think since they have done good deeds, that what they receive should by multiplied by 10 fold and if not they feel they have been disrespected or cheated of what is owed to them.
I see people giving of their time or even money to such minute quantities, yet feeling it was some kind of great sacrifice. What happened to the days of barn-raising where everyone came together to help one another and worked extremely hard, when people gathered as neighbors to put out a fire, when you could stop by and ask to borrow some milk or sugar without being looked at as "How dare she ask me that, why can she not just go to the store like I did. Will I really get it back?"
Today is all about being rewarded for your work and getting paid for every little thing you do. There is no room left for truly helping others. In the past taking care of your elderly at home was part of life and they were considered valuable members of the family for their wisdom and honored for the long life they spent in service of others. Now we are discarding them them to a nursing home and justifying it to ourselves, saying that is better for them and that it is impossible to take on such a burden. It is not better for them! It is better for the person that sent them, but only in the temporal world. It is not beneficial for their building of Christ-like attributes.
I remember when I was taking my mother into my home the doctors tried to tell me that I had my own family and that I should take care of them and place my mother into a nursing home. I answered with "She is my family too!" Just because someone has gotten old does that mean they are no longer family or if the person's health is not ideal do you then also just throw them away because they no longer produce more then they take? Do not children also take more than they produce? Should children be thrown away too?
When did we turn to the ethics of the eugenicists that say "the extermination of "undesired" population groups is best for everyone." Nursing homes are an extermination order for your family member. Those that work there do not love them like family or the way family should. They do not look at them with love, just as a job to pay the bills.
Even our marriage vows say "for better or for worse, for richer or poorer in sickness and in health." How many people take those words seriously anymore? How many run when minute things happen and their marriage does not live up to their dream expectation? Life is not a fantasy. It is reality and reality sometimes bites, but we get to choose how we handle that biting truth. Do we let it take control or do we stay in control and choose to love when loving is hard? Love is a choice, not just an emotion. Love is stepping outside of oneself and loving another as yourself or even better than yourself. If people believed this we would see true examples of Love. It is in the times of difficulty that true love grows deep. It puts down deep roots within, where outside conditions can no longer touch that love, but if one has kept their love on the surface to be blown by the winds of change and damaged by the storms of life, love will vanish with the wind and be broken with the storm. When love is deeply rooted in self-sacrifice, this selflessness builds the kind of love that lasts beyond this life.
This is the same with all kinds of things within our society. We have others raise our children because they take too much of our precious time. Sending them to pre-schools, schools, nannies, babysitters, and extra-curricular activities including the baby-sitting media of movies, video games, and computers, all in the name of improving them but not giving them what they really need: our love and attention. Is it just a justification to pawn them off on others that are paid pr bought to "care" for them, but do not love them. What about ones neighbors? Do people really know what their needs are? Do we know when they are sick, when they could use a shoulder to cry on or do we just want to assume they are fine? People do not really want to know about their friends, neighbors and family too much, for fear of feeling responsible to do something for them. So we keep a distance of politeness just enough to look like we care, but not enough to actually sacrifice ourselves and our own desires. Do we know when our neighbor is sick and could use some meals made? or when they are too tired or overwhelmed to cut their own yard. Do we look for opportunities to truly serve, or do we try to just keep our eyes closed and hope we do not find out their needs. To find out others needs we have to seek them out. People do not just knock on your door saying Help me! They suffer in silence. How many of us are surrounded by people everyday yet feel completely alone? How many think "Oh I am sure someone else is helping them." when we find out a need?
We are taught self-reliance but are we taught mercy and love too? Can we tell anymore when someone needs help beyond their own abilities and lift their burden or do we only think of our burden of giving up play time to help them?
To love is to give without expecting admiration and reward. Love is sacrifice, not deciding how much one will give to another based on their personal boundaries they have set for their "limit" of what they are "willing" do without taking too much away from themselves. It should be doing all that we "can" do and that is not limited by our personal desires, but by our true limits of ability. Love is truly caring for another MORE then oneself, giving to someone completely selflessly in service. It is not a badge of pride to be worn like a blue ribbon "Best Person Award". It is doing things for those in need without anything to gain and primarily to sacrifice of your time and means to the point it even hurts, not stopping when it just a slight inconvenience. Just as bodybuilders say "no pain no gain," this is also true within the realm of service. If there is no pain, there is no gain for either side. The problem is people love themselves so much more now than they do others, that the tiniest weight of another's burden feels like a several ton weight and a huge sacrifice, when it is only a few ounces. Yet, when it comes to others helping them, they expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter. They think since they have done good deeds, that what they receive should by multiplied by 10 fold and if not they feel they have been disrespected or cheated of what is owed to them.
I see people giving of their time or even money to such minute quantities, yet feeling it was some kind of great sacrifice. What happened to the days of barn-raising where everyone came together to help one another and worked extremely hard, when people gathered as neighbors to put out a fire, when you could stop by and ask to borrow some milk or sugar without being looked at as "How dare she ask me that, why can she not just go to the store like I did. Will I really get it back?"
Today is all about being rewarded for your work and getting paid for every little thing you do. There is no room left for truly helping others. In the past taking care of your elderly at home was part of life and they were considered valuable members of the family for their wisdom and honored for the long life they spent in service of others. Now we are discarding them them to a nursing home and justifying it to ourselves, saying that is better for them and that it is impossible to take on such a burden. It is not better for them! It is better for the person that sent them, but only in the temporal world. It is not beneficial for their building of Christ-like attributes.
I remember when I was taking my mother into my home the doctors tried to tell me that I had my own family and that I should take care of them and place my mother into a nursing home. I answered with "She is my family too!" Just because someone has gotten old does that mean they are no longer family or if the person's health is not ideal do you then also just throw them away because they no longer produce more then they take? Do not children also take more than they produce? Should children be thrown away too?
When did we turn to the ethics of the eugenicists that say "the extermination of "undesired" population groups is best for everyone." Nursing homes are an extermination order for your family member. Those that work there do not love them like family or the way family should. They do not look at them with love, just as a job to pay the bills.
Even our marriage vows say "for better or for worse, for richer or poorer in sickness and in health." How many people take those words seriously anymore? How many run when minute things happen and their marriage does not live up to their dream expectation? Life is not a fantasy. It is reality and reality sometimes bites, but we get to choose how we handle that biting truth. Do we let it take control or do we stay in control and choose to love when loving is hard? Love is a choice, not just an emotion. Love is stepping outside of oneself and loving another as yourself or even better than yourself. If people believed this we would see true examples of Love. It is in the times of difficulty that true love grows deep. It puts down deep roots within, where outside conditions can no longer touch that love, but if one has kept their love on the surface to be blown by the winds of change and damaged by the storms of life, love will vanish with the wind and be broken with the storm. When love is deeply rooted in self-sacrifice, this selflessness builds the kind of love that lasts beyond this life.
This is the same with all kinds of things within our society. We have others raise our children because they take too much of our precious time. Sending them to pre-schools, schools, nannies, babysitters, and extra-curricular activities including the baby-sitting media of movies, video games, and computers, all in the name of improving them but not giving them what they really need: our love and attention. Is it just a justification to pawn them off on others that are paid pr bought to "care" for them, but do not love them. What about ones neighbors? Do people really know what their needs are? Do we know when they are sick, when they could use a shoulder to cry on or do we just want to assume they are fine? People do not really want to know about their friends, neighbors and family too much, for fear of feeling responsible to do something for them. So we keep a distance of politeness just enough to look like we care, but not enough to actually sacrifice ourselves and our own desires. Do we know when our neighbor is sick and could use some meals made? or when they are too tired or overwhelmed to cut their own yard. Do we look for opportunities to truly serve, or do we try to just keep our eyes closed and hope we do not find out their needs. To find out others needs we have to seek them out. People do not just knock on your door saying Help me! They suffer in silence. How many of us are surrounded by people everyday yet feel completely alone? How many think "Oh I am sure someone else is helping them." when we find out a need?
We are taught self-reliance but are we taught mercy and love too? Can we tell anymore when someone needs help beyond their own abilities and lift their burden or do we only think of our burden of giving up play time to help them?
When did we change to be such pretenders? When did man stop truly caring for his neighbor or his own family and turn to loving himself more?
I feel that it is all this self-help mumbo-jumbo out there that has created a truly narcissistic humanity, one that seeks to be loved but does not seek to give love. They may do some acts that mimic love but they are strategically designed only to reap love for themselves. The sad thing is that they don't really obtain the love they desire and remain hungry, ever trying again and again to fill their emptiness in the same pointless selfish way.
I am deeply saddened to see our world fulfilling the prophecy, that "the love of many shall wax cold."
